The Inviting Shift Podcast
Embrace the authentic, confident you so you can feel good in your skin and have deeper relationships. The Inviting Shift Podcast focuses on how we step through this messy journey of life confidently so we can feel good about how we show up, have more connected relationships and connect to purpose and meaning. Or in short, how we manifest the lives we crave in practical, tangible ways.
The Inviting Shift Podcast
S3E11: Embracing Volunteerism: Finding Purpose and Connection in Midlife
What happens when you take the leap into volunteering during midlife? This episode of the Inviting Shift podcast explores that transformative journey, guided by host Christina Smith and her insightful panel of guests—Melissa, Maryam, and Jamie. Discover how Melissa's lifelong dedication to animal organizations, Maryam's expertise as a resilience coach, and Jamie's reflections as a retired educator offer diverse perspectives on giving back. Christina also shares her personal story of embracing volunteerism later in life.
Our conversation doesn't shy away from the real challenges of volunteering, whether it's navigating emotional situations or managing disagreements in intense environments. Listen as we discuss the perseverance required to face these complexities head-on and the joy that comes from committing with an open heart. Humility and a willingness to learn prove essential, as we emphasize how stepping into volunteer roles allows for personal growth and meaningful connections, even through tasks that might initially seem daunting or mundane.
OUR GUESTS:
Jamie Bessler is a retired educator. Empty nester. Seeker of personal enrichment. You can find more about Woman Within here.
Maryam Solhjou supports mid-lifers to cultivate intention and wisdom in their relationships so they feel connected and nourished in life's second half.
Connect: Facebook | Instagram | Website
Melissa Simon is an analyst and an animal-lover who volunteers by ofstering animals and running events for her spiritual community. If you have a message for Melissa, please forward it to the host and she'll pass it on.
THE HOST:
Connect with Christina Smith & Inviting Shift on Social: Instagram | Facebook
Free Gift: The Confidence Tool Kit is here to help you walk into the second half like a queen (because you are one already). Get it here.
Email me and tell me what you think: christina@christina-smith.com
Tune In:
Well, welcome back to the Inviting Shift podcast. I'm your host, christina Smith, and I have my hair up today because I have my midlife hot flashes going on, so hopefully we're going to be okay through this conversation. But I have this really beautiful panel of women here to have a little conversation around volunteering, because, well, actually, miriam and I were talking about it a few weeks ago and we're like this actually is like a bigger deal for midlife women because we suddenly have like a little bit more space often in our lives as we're letting go of children and maybe our career is becoming a little bit more settled and we're starting to think about the future and how it is that we want to make an impact, and at least that's what it is for me. So with that, I'm going to have our guests introduce themselves. So, melissa, can you tell us a little bit about you?
Speaker 2:So I'm a friend of Christina's and I have done a lot of volunteering throughout my life through different organizations and most currently working with animals, cats in particular, for our local SPCA, um and churches and charitable auctions and those sorts of things. You know it's. It's really brought a lot to my life, um and and um. Similarly to Jamie, I just learned um. I grew up doing it as well. It's always just been part of my world of giving back, even if I didn't really have anything monetarily to give. I always have my time. My time is valuable. It's become something that feels good. It gives back to me as well as to my community.
Speaker 1:Nice, beautiful. Thank you, melissa. Sure Mariam. We've had Mariam on before. We just love having her, so here she is again.
Speaker 3:Hey, christina, thanks for having me. Yes, I'm Miriam. I am a resilience coach and I work with folks in midlife men and women, both to help them cultivate more intention and wisdom in their relationships. So the second half of their life looks more like they want it to, and we'll dive into the volunteer stuff later, right?
Speaker 1:Sure, yeah, I would talk about it. Thanks for sharing who you are and Jamie, who's also been a part of our panel a couple of times before, thank you for being here.
Speaker 4:Jamie, I am a retired educator and an empty nester and I have volunteered from an early age, as a child, and I'm still doing it now and I get so much back for myself. But I like giving, I like what I see when I'm volunteering.
Speaker 1:Thank you, so we're going to start this conversation off and, as we started, I feel like called because, like many of you, have been volunteering for your entire life. And that was not me Um, that is not somehow that I was raised. Um, we didn't go, we were conveniently Catholic. So when my mom thought we needed it, we went to church, but we didn't really uh participate in, you know, doing volunteer things. Um, it was really. My mom worked two or three jobs when we were young because she was a single mom, and so I do want to put this out there for those women who are like holy cow, I'm working two jobs, raising children, doing all this stuff. How can I possibly think about uh volunteering one, it is a privilege to be able to give your time and not have to survive all of the time, yeah, um. And two, as we age, or as you age, you might find that this changes that you have less on your to-do list and more open time, if you create that. So, you know, take this gingerly and know that we're going to talk about the fact that we do have some time Now.
Speaker 1:For me, the earliest I can remember of actually volunteering, my time was, I mean, of course, I think in most high schools some high schools they kind of force you to do some kind of volunteer work, and so I did that.
Speaker 1:I did the requirements right, but I think when I first started volunteering it was simple, things Like I didn't. I did the requirements Right, but I think when I first started volunteering it was simple, things Like I didn't have to show up anywhere. It was like making hats for the homeless or um gathering old sheets and towels from neighbors and donating them to, like you know, the SPCA or other shelters that needed them. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, even if we don't have a lot of time, there are still things that you can do. I have a friend who does postcards for, uh, the political elections, to remind people to go vote or make sure that they're registered to vote. So this is always that we can do things that are kind of on our own time as well. But tell me, for those of you who've been volunteering since you were young, was this like you were following in your parents' footsteps or was this something new, or this was just something like kind of built in as you're being educated by your parents and teachers?
Speaker 4:So I'll, I'll jump in Um, my, my mom. I grew up with a single mom. My mom, um, worked crazy, crazy hours during the week and so all the volunteering that she would do from the time I was a small little girl was on the weekends and um, it was donate, donating time at um animal shelters, and it was. We did stuff with the Salvation Army and we, my mom, was in real estate and we did quite a bit with, even as a young child, habitat for Humanity just is like. I have memories of that as a young kid could do a lot, but I was there with my mom and it continued on and it made an impact, especially like through high school and in college, and it's continued on throughout my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would echo that that my parents, particularly my mom, would often volunteer and I was just sort of along for the ride and it became not only you know, I was learning a lot um skills and things. I mean, we had some building projects and things that we would help with too, and um, for me, gave me like a foundation of this is what community can feel like and and in, in a way that we didn't have to be there right, it wasn't a requirement, it was something we were choosing to do and choosing to help with and be participants in, and so that became really meaningful for me of you know. This is somewhere where I can be with people who not even necessarily like-mindedness, but same goal, same target, and we can work towards that together, regardless of background or, you know, opinions or anything like that.
Speaker 1:I love that because I think I think it's so much like for for introverts that I'm more of an introvert. It's easier for me to be with people when I have something to do, like when I have a job or a shared goal or a shared something. So that's what I'm hearing is one of the benefits that you get is like it feels good to accomplish something together, um, and getting to have those connections, which is also important in midlife. So you know if we need more connections. I'm guessing Miriam's going to tell me about this, because I know Miriam makes some connections. You want me to dive?
Speaker 3:in, yeah, dive in talk about how they were with their families and kind of tagging along while their parents were volunteering. I didn't have that experience, at least I don't remember Outside of what was required for me to volunteer. Most of my just volunteering started I think I was in mid to late 30s and dabbling in different things. And then, you know, I've dabbled in different, various ways of volunteering, like serving on boards, you know, donating money, working with the refugees, but all of them have kind of been short, but all of them have kind of been short. This last year I started volunteering at the, my local animal shelter and it's the most I've ever been this involved with volunteering and feels really it feels fulfilling. Yeah, it feels, feels fulfilling and exactly what Melissa said, you have this shared. We have this shared interest, a shared passion. You know we have shared joy and we also have shared grief, right when there are certain animals that we cannot help and the animals that slip through the cracks.
Speaker 1:So we also share in the joy and the grief and for me it's been like the last 15 years I've been volunteering and most of my volunteering is actually around women's circles and women's groups, and I have also served on the board of Women Within the international board, and here's the thing that they don't always tell you about volunteering when we talk about volunteering, I think we automatically can get this like really feel good feeling in our heart and we're like, oh, isn't that nice of me to donate my time and and um, what you know Miriam slightly alluded to is that it's not always easy Miriam slightly alluded to is that it's not always easy, right, it's not always the feel good feeling. And so, just in case you are sitting there and going, I volunteered, man, that was like it was hard Because, again, like as, even though we're all have the same, maybe, goal and passion in mind, we're still different people and so there's still going to be challenges. And especially when I sat on a board and I mean that's kind of what the board is supposed to do hash out those hard things and come up with better ways of doing things, even though some people think how we're doing it is fine and other people are like, no, it really needs to be changed. So there's always going to be challenges, I think, when we go to volunteering. So just assuming that if there's a challenge cause I've seen this happen to many, many boards is like, if there's a challenge, like I want to give up because suddenly it's like, um, I must not belong here if I'm having a hard time. And I would encourage people to look further than that and really stick through some of it. Sure, there might be places where you're giving your time and if it's like over time you're like, wow, this really is giving me nothing, then that's something like over time you're like, wow, this really is giving me nothing, and that that's something.
Speaker 1:But I think the hardest volunteer position I ever had was on that international board, and it's because at the time I was on there, we were talking about some really dicey issues and you know, people had very, very different ways of believing around it and they were quite passionate about their beliefs. And what was really lovely about that is we were lucky to have a woman named Shartosi, who founded the organization, who would stop everything and make us do our own work about things and get through it. So at the end of the day we could still have dinner together and nobody was angry about what was going on. They were just. They all felt heard and all felt loved and cared for, which doesn't happen everywhere. That's a women's organization.
Speaker 1:I'm willing to bet that some of you have some stories about how it wasn't great sometimes, and I'd be happy to hear them, just that we can really have a realistic look at volunteering. And this is not to discourage anyone. This is to get like the reality of it, so that we're all prepared for what it is that that we want to do. And you know we'll talk about the benefits and all the beautiful things that we've gotten from it too. But I just I want to get the hard stuff out of the way, cause I know that we can create this like fairytale around, like, oh, you just show up, you bang some nails and you built a house and it's beautiful. Everybody's just laughing together.
Speaker 2:I can definitely speak to that. I think the greatest skill I gandered from volunteering is it really really helped me learn boundaries. Because if you're with an organization that maybe doesn't have so many volunteers, it's very easy to be the it for all the things. And so knowing exactly what you want to be able to contribute, what you're willing to compromise on versus you know whether that's time or the energy, or you know you know whether that's time or the energy, or you know dealing with conflict resolution, you know just knowing where you are going into it can be really really helpful because it sets a tone that you know from the second you start. Because if you don't, what I found for myself is if I didn't set those boundaries that I was walked all over and ended up putting, putting in so much more than I was getting out of it and then trying to get back out of that is is even trickier.
Speaker 1:Yes, cause once you start saying yes, they're like oh, call Christina, she says yes to everything. In fact, I remember a few years ago when I was moving from the East Coast to the West Coast I was still traveling and there was people from the West Coast Women Organization that was like hey, do you want to be on our board, do you want to volunteer? And it's like I haven't even gotten a house yet. Hold on, give me a second. But that's I mean, and it feels lovely to be wanted and loved. And it was really important for me to go to really check in with myself and say is this right for me? Is how much do I want to give, in what capacity do I want to give it and where are my boundaries? And I mean not that any of these organizations are bad, it's just it's easy to go to the person who says yes, and especially if they don't have boundaries, but it's really easy because it's like Melissa's always going to say yes, no problem, just ask her She'll get it done.
Speaker 4:I'll jump in on that. And I think boundaries, like Melissa said, are like just yeah, like having the attitude of I want to keep learning about myself and about other people and that there may be some discomfort, and what can I learn from that? You know what?
Speaker 1:I say Discomfort is growth, discomfort is important, it is how we grow. If we didn't, we're not uncomfortable, we would not grow.
Speaker 4:Yeah, didn't we're not uncomfortable, we would not grow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, yeah. So boundaries are really, really important for you to be clear on what is it that you want to give. I think that that's probably one of the biggest spots, and I love the idea that Jamie just brought up about growth, because it, like volunteering, has taught me a lot about myself. In fact, like a lot of my original confidence comes from sitting on that board, because when they asked me to be on the board and we did the whole interview and everything, it was like I was like nervous. I was like these are women who have years and years and years of experience. They know what they're talking about and in their different like you know their little different director roles, like you know, the finance person knew everything. The person who knew how to create structure in a nonprofit she knew everything.
Speaker 1:And I just was like wow, I'm just sitting here feeling really small at first and over time, I really grew into my confidence because I was like wow, they actually respect what it is that I do and what I give and the wisdom that I have, and that was pretty amazing. So sometimes stepping up into something is pretty amazing and those are just some of the benefits that I got was like I really started seeing myself as one of those queens at the table, rather than the person at the low end of the totem pole. I'm wondering what other benefits have you all gotten from volunteering? Why is it that we want to give our time? Because we don't have to right. We could be doing something else.
Speaker 3:We could be Netflixing could be doing something else. We could be Netflixing. Well, christina, I can just speak to speaking to what you just mentioned, because you and I had this conversation before where you had to step up into that role, like for me, like this last year working at the shelter, you know, there were often times where I had to stoop down and actually clean up crates with poop and pee and dirty blankets and at first I was like wait a minute, I have a graduate degree, I should be doing, I should be doing something different. And it was so. It was really humbling and like well, after a while it's like well, why shouldn't I do this? This dog needs a clean crate. Why shouldn't I get down and and clean up the crate? So it was just a kind of opposite of what you were talking to earlier.
Speaker 2:To piggyback on that a little bit too. I, when Christina was talking, you know, I was reminded of, you know, coming into it with a sense of humility too. Right, like this, this to me, this is a new organization and I don't know all the things, so, you know, being open to what, what information, what learning, what processes are working for for whatever I'm doing, humility became really important for me to not not that I'm, you know, have a whole lot of ego going into something, but you know we, especially at this point in my life, right, like I've got some things figured out in my head, right, somebody else might have it figured out better than me being open to oh, I see what you're doing there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that Cause I've seen people step up to like board positions cause they like the name or the title and then it's like but they didn't really want to do the work, um, and that was really really challenging Cause.
Speaker 1:Then it's like okay, so why are you here If, like, you can't just grab the title right, you can't just be like oh, I'm a volunteer, I do this thing, I'm a director, but most nonprofits that I've worked for are not the huge ones that pay people. They are volunteer positions only, and when it comes to that, they need people who are actually going to do the work and sometimes clean up the poop and the pee. Right, like, yes, would you rather be using your skills in some other way? Sure, but there is something really beautiful about being humbly open to doing whatever is actually needed, right, like if I'm, if I'm really good at I don't know, making straws, like, but nobody needs a straw, then that's going to be a problem. Right, I need to be able to give in ways in which an organization can actually receive that too.
Speaker 4:So I think for myself like especially now as starting year two, as an empty nester. For me, it's like I get connection out of volunteering. I've made like lovely friends and even acquaintances, and the other part of this for me is is just like I grew up volunteering. I want my daughters to see what I'm giving back of myself and you know, my young, 19 year old, was like mom, why are you doing this? And I we had a discussion and um it prompted her to figure out how she can volunteer um on her college campus Awesome.
Speaker 1:Lovely? Yeah, I think it. I think it is something that I mean. I know we talked about it being privilege earlier, but I think a lot of us have a little bit of time. We could be giving here or there and again, even if that's like crocheting hats for the homeless or going to the local shelter and saying, do you just need somebody to walk the dogs once a day? Or something you know like, whatever it is, how can we fit that in? Because to me there is like a sense of pride that I'm offering something without any expectation of return, and that's really what brings me joy is that I'm not there for the money. I'm not there for um, some title or better, you know better idea of who I am all the time, but sometimes it's just about being able to give freely, which is really really sweet, um, and there's so many ways of doing it.
Speaker 1:Um. So what can women do if they want to volunteer? I loved what um Jamie said. One of the biggest things I continue to volunteer for is cause I meet women and I, like have groups of women that I've met from volunteering in different aspects. Men too, but I cherish my women friends more. I really do, um, but I cause I've I've done like other volunteered for um, the men's organization, to come talk to them to do workshops with my husband, um, so we've done that too. But I guess, um, there's so many opportunities out there and I think that we forget about that, and I'm always the one who was like, well, if it's not out there, you should just create it. Um, so I'm curious as to what are some unique volunteer positions that maybe you've had or even heard of, that you haven't had or maybe you want to explore in the future.
Speaker 4:So I actually, after the pandemic, I approached several of the senior centers and there were people not that much older than me who needed to learn how to use Zoom, older than me who who needed to learn how to use zoom, and it was like, okay, like I'm giving my time and and I felt really good doing it, and people were so appreciative.
Speaker 1:Such a simple thing, right Like, and you would think, like what is the big deal? But it is a big deal to an elder person who their only contact is now through Zoom because everything's on lockdown or you know they and to be able to connect with people that they love or just to meet new people via Zoom. Such a big, such a big impact. I can imagine that made in their lives and even though it might have felt so small to you, like what is this their lives? And even though it might have felt so small to you, like what is this? But all those elders that didn't have young grandchildren or whatever to teach them how to do it I know that you've also volunteered your time translating as well in the past.
Speaker 4:I'm, spanish is my second language and, yeah, I've translated pretty much a lot of the time. When my kids were in school, if they needed a translator, I was approached and I translated at quite a few of the special ed meetings. And now I mean there's a possibility, like the airport, the Phoenix airport needs translators right now, and so it's. There's so much out there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what I love about that is like you use your specific gifts right. I mean, like that's the thing that you have you can speak a second language. That's such a great gift to be able to provide Right. Such a great gift to be able to provide Right. And so we all use our different gifts, whether that's like loving animals or being able to do organization in a nonprofit and even just organize their administrative processes, or the way that they do things. Who else is using their special, special gifts? I love gifts and strengths.
Speaker 3:And I love when we lean into them. Well, you know I can chime in on that and you know this goes to me failing a few times before I finally found how I can make it work for me. So, given this whole situation with we had so many dogs in the shelters, I thought I would let me foster a dog to help out the community. Right? Ended up being just a disaster for me and the dog and I had to give the dog back. I was crying for several days. So I started to do a little digging and just I took a step back and I thought to myself okay, let me think differently about this situation. What are my skills? So I have a background in organizational psychology. I'm like, okay, let me think differently about this situation. What are my skills?
Speaker 3:So I have a background in organizational psychology. I'm like, okay, so how can I use my background and my skills to maybe help the rescues get more organized, maybe help the shelters get more organized, right? So that's when I started doing digging and contacting these organizations to see, you know, which one of them needs help. So right now, at the shelter that I'm working at, I spend the majority of my time using my organizational psych skills and then just like maybe a quarter of the time actually working with animals, because this way I'm making more of an impact on the organization right and impacting more animals than if I were to just to work with one animal at a time. So that's how it's. It's worked for me so far.
Speaker 1:And I love that, because by midlife we each have like a set of our own special gifts and skills, and so being able to identify that there's a lot of you know, because high schools require some students to go do volunteer work, they have a lot of inexperienced people that can be, you know, doing the cleanup and can do all these other things, and often some of these nonprofits need these higher skills that they would otherwise either have to pay for, which they may not be able to afford, or they just forego it and then they're not as efficient and productive as they could be. So, really, looking at, what skills did you have in your career and how can you move those forward? And I know Melissa uses a lot of them because she's a really smart cookie and she's got a lot of skills. Share with us how you use your skills and in your work.
Speaker 2:I feel like I'm on the spot, but I know you do it for um, for your church.
Speaker 2:Yes, so for many years I have run they. They do an annual um auction where people create things and they donate them and we coordinate that. So I've been the coordinator for the whole thing for 20 years now. So my mom used to run it and so I kind of inherited it for a while and so I kind of inherited it for a while and so I think learning how to manage people became a big part of that. And it is interesting because it does sort of go back and forth right, like what skills do I innately bring to it? You know, learned through work and professional growth, and then and then vice versa, what have I learned from from this volunteering that I bring back to my professional life? And, um, I mean, I've gotten so much growth on on both sides and can pull from from those various things. Um, that's been it's. It's been really helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that Cause you can like it's when you volunteer at a shelter. It doesn't have to be just walking dogs, it doesn't have to be just fostering. However, those are often skills too. We have a friend, john McCartan, that I'm putting his name out there. I hope you're okay with that, but he, uh, his whole like life has been like finding colonies of cats that are just out there and taking care of them and trapping them one by one to make sure that they've, all you know, gotten fixed, and then he releases them again if, if, they're fit to be released. Um, but he's, he's been doing that for decades and that's just who he is. He doesn't do it for any one specific organization, he just does it because he loves the cats and he's really good with them. They come right up to him and they tend to, like you know, trust him. So his skill is like being like the cat whisperer. That's what I call him. Oh, beautiful.
Speaker 1:One more thing I wanted to talk about is just that knowing when it's time to move on and I know that this is hard, but like knowing when either you want to volunteer in a different way or you want to volunteer, like, at a different organization or whatever. And I guess this comes up for me because one of the hardest things about volunteering for me was when I was on the board they had asked me to stay a second term, even though I knew in my heart there was no way I could manage it, because what was expected of that position was way beyond what I could give it and that was really hard for me. And I sat in this position of, well, I have to cause, nobody else will do it, what if they can't get someone else to do this? And I guess one of the biggest lessons I learned was um, I finally did leave, but I left when it got to be so much that I was like I finally did leave, but I left when it got to be so much that I was like way over my head and I left with a fury and a fit and a like I just can't do this like a breakdown. But what was really beautiful and a huge lesson that it taught me was when I moved out of the way.
Speaker 1:They got like four or five women to come in and one of them became director, but the rest of them actually supported her. And it happened right before the pandemic, and during the pandemic they built this whole like online site for the organization. They did things that I would have never been able to get to, that I could have only have dreamt of, and if I had stayed in that position, that may not have happened, right? So sometimes abdicating is also getting somebody else in this space, and I bring this up because it's also about, um, like what Jamie was saying about her daughters, like it's also about bringing new people into the fold, or Melissa's mom to like bringing new people in the fold and going. Mom to like bringing new people in the fold and going okay, somebody else should know this skill. Somebody else has gifts to give here, and how can we create space for other people to share their gifts, get the growth that we've all gotten from being volunteers? Um, however uncomfortable that is and you know, has this ever even occurred for anybody else?
Speaker 1:I'm the only one that's standing here and going. Maybe I should just do this for the rest of my life, just to make other people happy.
Speaker 2:Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 4:What I can think of, like presently volunteering. Um, the thing that like and it dawned on me like last week is I like, actually I'm going to start actively seeking shadows, for people to shadow me, so that it is not just me, and at that, and that when I am ready to move on, it may mean stepping into leadership, it may mean completely different direction, that it just won't be a big deal.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. That's a beautiful thought. Melissa, you had something.
Speaker 2:It's funny that you mentioned this, because just today I stepped down from doing the auction this year officially and there's there's a little bit of scrambling, you know now. Now what do we do? And I've been, I've been asking for a couple of years for shadowing for um. You know we need to grow this team. You know it's becoming too much, you know. And so even last year I created some space for other people to step in and I still had to kind of do it.
Speaker 1:We talked about this because the thing is that when you let go, you have to let go. And that's the hard part right?
Speaker 2:Well, because I don't want to watch it. I want it, Right, that's because I don't want to watch it.
Speaker 2:You know I want it. So, so, officially this year. Literally like a couple of hours ago, I had a conversation and said you know, no, I cannot do it this year. I'm willing to, you know, pass the baton Right. I'm not, I'm not about to, you know, say I'm over my head, I've had enough. You know, go go find somebody else. I want to gracefully pass that baton, Um, but I need somebody else to pick it up.
Speaker 1:And then there's this balance of like, what do you let go of of it not being the way that you want it to be right? Like what is unsafe versus uncomfortable? We know all this question. I ask it a lot, but what is? Um, yeah, what can I let go of that?
Speaker 1:Okay, it's not going to be the way that I do it and I'm going to have to allow that to be okay, because, just the example I was giving, if I would have been like, oh, you have to do it the way that I was doing it, well then we wouldn't have this influx of women who did new things and did awesome things that I probably never would have thought of. Or I'd have been like oh, that way sounds like way too much, too ambitious, can't do that. And we don't want to like, stall other people's ideas as well. So, yeah, there's definitely a balance between like how can I teach this? And creating those boundaries of like I'm teaching it, I'm not doing it Right. I know that's a big one for you, because it's easier, as we all know, it's easier just to do it yourself sometimes than to do it, than to teach someone else, but that is the legacy that we have to leave, as we have to take the time to teach the things as well. So, yeah, how about you, miriam?
Speaker 1:Anything around that? Have you had to let go of positions or volunteering? That was hard.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've stayed in. Exactly what you said stayed in too long, sometimes Wish that I had left earlier, but I also think that it's a learning process, right? So I've got to get over my head. I had to get over my head a few times and get stretched too thin for me to finally learn to set those boundaries and say, okay, no, I can't do anymore right, or I'm stepping down, or you know it's enough. So, um, yeah, I've been there. I think. I think everybody who volunteers has probably been there at some point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I just I want I love to mention it, though, cause I don't I want people to go volunteer and I want them to know that they're going to come up against these walls Most of us have. Most people who give their time are often asked to give more because they've already said yes. It's an easy end, right? It's harder to convince somebody to volunteer for the first time than just to say yes to one more thing, and so that's really important, awesome. So we're going to close this out with one piece of wisdom from each person, and I'll go last, because I know I'll probably repeat some of the things that y'all say anyway. So, um, let me see if I can come up with something unique, but with that, melissa what's your takeaway or piece of wisdom?
Speaker 2:Say you know, something that I've I've heard Christina say over the years is be curious, allow yourself to. It's an opportunity to try things that, um, it's an opportunity to try things that you may not have had any exposure to in community gardens, and you know the SPCA, and there's just, there's so many beautiful organizations that are doing so many good things that you know, just, let yourself be curious of of. You know, try it for a month, try it for, you know, a quarter, a year, whatever, and, and you don't, there doesn't need to be a commitment out of the gate.
Speaker 3:Two things that I want to stress in in relation to the stage of life that we're in is one is in this stage of life we tend to become lonelier. I see this in my clients and I see this in my circle of friends, and I think volunteering with something that we're passionate about and sharing that passion with a community of people is so undervalued in our age group. So that's like a one big thing that I want to encourage people in our age group to. You know, just get out there and get curious and, you know, try out different, various forms of volunteering, because that really is the key to connecting us to other people and, you know, creating that connection. So that's one really important thing. And the second thing around that is also in our age and stage that we're at, we're looking for more meaning and purpose in our life and this really is the pathway to get us there right Getting curious about what our passions are and how we can find that meaning and purpose through volunteering in those industries.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. And Miriam, how can people reach you?
Speaker 3:Beautiful and Miriam, how can people reach you? They have my website. I'm stumbling on my words. I'm on Instagram at Embrace your Wisdom. You can find me at Embrace your Wisdom on Instagram and I think you're going to put a link to my website and how they can contact me if they'd like to.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Sure will Thanks Miriam and Jamie they can contact me if they like to. Yeah, sure. Well, thanks, miriam and Jamie. Well, after the two beautiful um, I think what I'll add is is just be open to possibilities, that even at this emptiness stage of my life, um, I like trying new things and if it doesn't fit and it's not, it doesn't feel comfortable I'll try something else, and I like being open to that.
Speaker 1:I like that, yeah, beautiful. And anybody who wants to connect with Melissa or Jamie can do that through me. Just send me an email. My information is below and I will make sure that that gets passed on to them. My piece of wisdom, let's see.
Speaker 1:Well, we've mentioned boundaries lots and lots of time, but I think I would just go heavy into what is your skillset and what are your passions, right, and get that Venn diagram together and then start looking up organizations. If animals are your passion, look up the shelters and see what kind of help that they could actually use, or even email them, because some of them I mean some of them might not know that they need a Miriam who can come in and like, organize their processes and make them more efficient. So, really reaching out to the places that you want and asking them, put the question out there. You know how. These are my skills. How can I help you? I'd love to do that. I think would be a great thing.
Speaker 1:Good, and sometimes, if we can't find what we're looking for, we have to build it, and I think that that's really important. I've there's been plenty of places where I did not have a women's circle and I built it. Um, I volunteered my time. I ran lots of open circles and I built what I wanted. I've done that with networking groups out of volunteering all kinds of things. So if you don't see it, maybe consider building it and with that, thank you all you beautiful women for showing up today and volunteering your time no one was paying for this and just sharing how it is that volunteering has been supporting your life, and I think that midlife is a stage where we can start to think about that again as our lives settle a little bit. So thank you all and thank you, audience, for tuning in. We'll talk to you next week. Are you ending?
