The Inviting Shift Podcast
Embrace the authentic, confident you so you can feel good in your skin and have deeper relationships. The Inviting Shift Podcast focuses on how we step through this messy journey of life confidently so we can feel good about how we show up, have more connected relationships and connect to purpose and meaning. Or in short, how we manifest the lives we crave in practical, tangible ways.
The Inviting Shift Podcast
S3E12: Redefining Self-Care: Embracing Emotional Healing in Midlife
Have you ever felt like self-care was reduced to just spa days and superficial routines? Join us for an enlightening conversation with Casey Kang Head and Page Rossiter as they redefine self-care, especially during the transformative midlife years. Casey, a resilient voice having survived cancer and strokes, shares her evolved understanding of self-care, focusing on stress reduction and emotional healing. Page complements this by emphasizing the need to listen to our bodies and trust our inner wisdom, whether it's through rest, building connections, or exploring creativity. Together, we unravel the complexity of self-care beyond the surface level, viewing it as a profound journey toward mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
OUR GUESTS
Casey Kang Head is a 3x survivor of acute lymphoblastic leukemia & stroke survivor. Casey is a trauma-informed cancer coach using somatic movement & breathwork with survivors so they heal and can reclaim their life and learn how to live healthier to ensure they are stronger physically, mentally & emotionally so they don’t live life in fear. Author of “Finding Your Way Back to Heart Center; Cancer Treatment Ended Now What?", Personal trainer, Yoga instructor, Yoga for oncology certified, Yoga for Trauma, Cancer Exercise Specialist, PN Level 1 Nutritionist, SomaticsIQ Therapist, Restorative Yoga, NICABM Trauma Certified, Happiness Certified, Level 1 Reiki Healer and lifelong learner. Casey lives in Santa Barbara currently and is a dog mom to Lily Bear.
Connect with Casey: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | YouTube | Website
Page Rossiter is passionate about creating safe places for people to be seen and heard in their authenticity. She has facilitated personal development programs, women's weekends, retreats, and circles for 25 years. She earned her degree from the University of Delaware and is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CTI), Woman Within Facilitator, and Thrive Retreat leader. Page’s graceful and warm personality inspires learning, connection, and transformation. She is committed to helping you discover what lights you up, brings you peace, and makes you thrive!
Connect with Page: Thrive Retreat Website, Facebook
HOST:
Christina Smith is a life coach specializing in confidence and self-love in midlife.
CONNECT with Inviting Shift & Christina:
Instagram | Facebook | Email me
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TUNE IN wherever you listen to podcasts:
Well, welcome to the Inviting Shift podcast. I'm your host, christina, and I am here with two amazing beautiful women, paige and Casey, and today we're going to talk about self-care and what that looks like in midlife and probably the hardest part, which is saying yes to ourselves and allowing ourselves to do those things for ourselves and not watching them slide off the list because something else more important came up and with just so we can get the conversation started, let's have our guests introduce themselves. So, casey, can you tell us a little bit about you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so my name is Casey Kinghead. I am a three-time cancer survivor and stroke survivor. I am a trauma-informed cancer coach, using somatic movement and breath work with survivors so they heal and are able to reclaim their life and learn how to live healthier, to ensure they are stronger physically, mentally and emotionally and don't live a life in fear.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. I'm sure there's a lot of self-care in that as well, so I can't wait to talk to you about that how about you, paige.
Speaker 3:Hello, my name is Paige Rossiter and I am a facilitator, a coach, a mentor and a retreat leader, and I am so happy to be here because their self-care and really to thrive in their lives. Thanks.
Speaker 1:So self-care looks like a lot of different things and I know during this season we've talked some about it and it's different for every woman. Like I know a lot of people think that like Manny and Pettys and massages are like the self-care, and those are self-care like don't get me wrong. And I also know that there's often deeper self-care. Like I've just started taking supplements because of perimenopause, and so, you know, doing that in the past would have been like, ah, now I got this list of things I got to do and I got to check off the list of all the things that I got to do and my attitude has really changed about that, where I see it as kind of like a gift, and it wasn't always that way.
Speaker 1:Self-care was really hard for me because, well, especially before middle age, I was, you know, raising a kid, working full time, had a husband, had responsibilities, and so it seems like I should just be able to keep going and going and going. And so I'm wondering, what have? What struggles have y'all had with um doing self-care? Or maybe you don't, maybe you're like my husband who, like he's a bandwagon jumper Like you. Tell him that you know, standing on his head for five seconds every day is healthy for him. He will do it tomorrow and for every day following. It's like not a problem for him whatsoever, but for me it's always been a challenge, and I'm wondering what challenges y'all might have.
Speaker 2:So for me, personally, it's evolved for sure. I think prior to my experience with cancer, it was definitely just exercise, like that's enough, that's all the self-care you get, and since then it's so much more. It's physical, mental and emotional well-being as well, and it's evolved into not just exercise but a regulated nervous system, lowering stress, taking time for myself, because it's really truly about caring for ourselves. You know, it's we're, it's we're putting our own physical, mental and emotional health at risk, and it's a hard lesson that I learned. But it's now what is so vital for so many women to actually understand as well.
Speaker 1:Forced self-care. I love. I love that illness can often, you know, put on forced self-care and that's what happened for me too is I had really bad gut problems and so I was realized I had to slow down. It wasn't what I was eating, it was just the fact that I put so much stress on my body. So, yeah, how about you, paige?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, I think I did it along with Casey like there are so many different aspects that self-care cover and so for me it's being really mindful. A lot of times it's listening to my body, because my body has the information on. You know my answers or is it time to rest, or is it time to push through and, um, really checking into myself and and my inner wisdom that has those answers for me around what is self-care? And I think it has changed, you know, over the years, and sometimes now it's like you said, um, christina, it's not necessarily like the massage, it's what does quiet time look like for me? How do I replenish myself?
Speaker 3:I love asking that of coaching clients, like, really, what is replenishment for you? And it's different for everyone. For some people it's, you know, being with others. For some people it's being alone, it might be doing art. I mean I and I think, as women get in touch with that, then they can weave it into their lives more easily. So just even asking that question what is self-care, what does replenishment look like? I think it's huge.
Speaker 1:I love that. So check in with your body, because that is something I definitely didn't do before I was ill, because I just my body. It should just do what I want it to do, right, like a machine. It should just do the thing, and so I never really looked at it. And, of course, as we age, there's a lot of different things that I'm looking at, like strength training.
Speaker 1:For me is self-care, because I'm losing muscle mass pretty quickly and I don't want to do that. I want to stay healthy as long as possible, which is definitely not something I had to do in my younger days because I worked in a lot of restaurants when I was in my twenties. So I never had to do that because I spent so much time moving all day long, and now that I'm sitting in a chair, it looks different. But really checking in with our bodies I think for me that was really challenging because there were so many things I didn't like about my body, and so to check in with my body was like to check in with an enemy, almost, and I just thought I could go through all of that stuff in my head. I got the logistics. I can understand this. I can just keep moving forward, but a lot of our wisdom is in our bodies. I can understand this. I can just keep moving forward, but a lot of our wisdom is in our bodies.
Speaker 3:I agree with you and I think what's really interesting is I've also had a challenging time loving my body. That has been lifelong, like since third grade when I started putting on weight, and so I think the thing and especially now in midlife, you're saying like our bodies are changing and yet they do have information. So looking at them as a resource and um, and being gentle and kind to the changing body, you know what's changing gray hairs, sagging things, you know all the things that are changing the perimenopause, the sweats that happen and the. You know all of that. So it's like I think it's actually two things.
Speaker 3:It's like listening to our bodies and then also loving them as much as we can, like, as much as it's possible to say nobody else is going to take care of this machine that I live in. This is all up to me, like that's the good news and the bad news, like really, because if it's, you know, if I look at it as the good news and I get to make decisions for myself and I get to say, okay, I get to decide what this relationship is going to be like, and that changes it for me a lot, right, it's it's a lifelong relationship that we get to have and and kind of like page, like it's not that I didn't love my body before, but I didn't appreciate what it could do and the things that it can do.
Speaker 2:And now more than ever it's like body first, mind second. Because if there's some like there's a reason why, when women have this like gut instinct that we oftentimes ignore and so checking in with our body and our mind at the same time, it really kind of changes the conversation. And it's knowing that this vessel that we are in is the only vessel that we get right and if we are not taking care of it in some form or fashion, like anything else, it's going to start to break down and start to dysfunction. And I'm six years in post-metapause, so I've had to learn how to do things very differently. You know I'm 41 now, six years post-metapause. Like it's a very the learning curve is steep, but once you understand like what, how do you support your body in that way, it's so much more than than just white knuckling through life again.
Speaker 1:Love that, yeah, cause so often I always felt like the changing habits is like white knuckling it, but it's like now that I accept it as I get to take care of my body this way. Aren't I blessed to like have a body that's still functioning at 47 years old and still doing all the things that I wanted to do? Um, well, most of the things that I wanted to do were working on some of those other things still, but for the most part, like, I've been pretty lucky with how healthy my body has been and I really want to keep that rather than, like in the past, I'd have been like, oh well, if a problem comes up, I'll go to the doctor, they give me a pill, I feel better, right. And instead there was so many things that happened to me in my 20s and 30s that in my 30s, I had to go hold on. Maybe there's a different way to live where I don't need all these pills, because that was crazy for me, cause it was really just putting bandages on the fact that, like, I was probably mentally, emotionally, unhealthy, and so instead I'm like oh, I have inflammation, take an inflammation pill. Oh, I have a migraine, take a migraine pill. And instead, when I started, I actually went to health coaching school Cause I was like, oh, there's gotta be something wrong with me that the doctors aren't seeing. And when I changed the way that I ate, it helped, um. But when I started looking at the amount of stress that was in my life and the pressures that I was putting on myself and started saying no to things a little bit more and yes to myself a little bit more, that's when I noticed a huge change where I stopped getting depressed as much and I stopped having the gut issues as much.
Speaker 1:I haven't been like there's, there's still no diagnosis. There's 10 diagnoses and no diagnoses all at the same time as if you've ever been in the medical jargon. They go back and forth but they've done nothing, and it's really just how I live my life that has changed the way that my body shows up now and how I listen to my body. It always reminds me of this story of there was like a businessman and he, every time he went to go do business with a new person, he would have dinner with them and if his food settled okay, he would continue to do business with them. But if his, his stomach felt ill after he ate. That was him listening to his body and going nope, this person is not for me to work with.
Speaker 1:And I always thought like, well, that's a weird thing, and when we start listening to our bodies or at least when I started listening to my body that's exactly how it shows up. But so many of us, I feel like, avoid our bodies because that's where our feelings are and we're told not to like pay attention to those feelings. Like my mom was like oh, you're not sad, you're not angry. And so I stopped listening to my body, thinking that it was lying to me. Basically, I was like ah, my body doesn't know anything, and yet it's like one of the best indicators of my health is when I check in with myself and go actually, how am I feeling?
Speaker 3:I definitely agree with you. I think that's a great point, that self-care is allowing ourselves to feel all the feels, you know, not just the ones you deem as good or right, and allowing ourselves the tears and the anger and the sadness and allowing it to move through us rather than keeping it stuck inside. And so I love that part of body and self-care and feeling all the feels, even when it's like this sucks, you know. Okay, this sucks, and if I move through it, my body will help me move through it. I'll move through it and then there's a place to move into. So that's definitely been part of my self-care is allowing my healings, even when they don't, even when they're not so free.
Speaker 2:I would agree, because what we don't express, we repress, and repression leads to disease of the body. They're linking, now more than ever, because of all the research that has been done over the ACE study, which is the American Childhood Adversity Study that's been ongoing for over 30 plus years, that certain tendencies that people have, like people pleasing and all these other things, are actually creating disease of the body. And you know, sadly, chronic illness and cancer would be in that category as well. And so if we don't express it in some form, we're holding onto it and that's just more stress on our bodies that doesn't need to be carried.
Speaker 2:But, I grew up with. Like Christina, like you don't feel that way, that's not okay. Like be tough, like okay, you know. So I can.
Speaker 1:There's a both and like. We can be tough and still be like and this sucks and cry through it, right. We can cry right through doing the hard thing if that's what we need to do. Or we can say with ourselves maybe this isn't the right time for me to do this. Maybe there's a different way, maybe I just need to give myself a break today, which I think is like that's something I definitely was not given. I was not given like emotional health days. When I was in school, my mom was like Nope, you're fine, you're going to school. I mean, many times we were sick and she was like Nope, you're going to school. But the 80s was a different time.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't think I stayed home from school, unless I literally threw up.
Speaker 3:Right and I you know it's so interesting about that the very first coach I worked with, I remember, you know, just like having this day. I was sick, you know, and I was like and and her assignment I mean I guess I kept my coaching call was literally to cancel everything and to shut the shades and to lay down, and it was like like I get to do that and it was. It was such a huge aha for me and I still remember it. You guys, this is for 25 years ago. Yeah, it's been a really long time.
Speaker 3:Like what does that mean? To take care of myself, Cause nobody else is going to do that, nobody else is going to tuck me into bed and um, and so you know, slowing down and saying, is this what I want to do? For me, often, like I love the way I feel after a workout, so I want it here, but my body is like, okay, overextended, you've done like enough, and so for me, that is also like, is it my head that wants it or does my body feel like this is a good thing to do for myself? And so noticing, noticing and checking in on that, I think, is super important.
Speaker 1:I love that so much. It leads us kind of into this idea of giving ourselves permission, because we were just saying that about like, oh, when somebody else tells me I can give myself permission, then maybe it's okay for me to give myself permission. Like I had a boss once that was like Christina, you're not feeling well, go home, go rest. And it was like that's okay, like I aren't I supposed to work like 60, 70 hours a week. And when I started working for myself, I realized, oh, I'm the one who put those expectations on myself. It was never really my boss. And when I realized that, I realized I had to be the one who gave myself permission to say, no, you can rest, you can take the afternoon off. You can't. You don't have to work 60 hours a week. It doesn't necessarily even benefit my business.
Speaker 1:In fact, I learned that the less hours I work, the better I do, because I'm at least giving it like energy that I want to give it, instead of that forced energy that's like oh, let's just check this off the list, just like self-care. So for me to say yes to myself meant I had to give myself permission to slow down, which is really anti 80s. It's like what do you mean? You can fit more stuff, you can be more productive and get more stuff done, but giving myself permission just to slow down was so challenging and be like oh, I mean I can even feel it in my body at times where it was like I don't want to slow down, I want to get this done, and my body is like please just rest. So what is the big challenges with y'all, with the self-care is like is it saying yes, is it slowing down? Is it feeling okay, doing something really sweet for yourself?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes and yes, like right on my mind, going in so many directions.
Speaker 3:I mean, I, for me, it's all of that, it's you know, it's it's slowing down, it's checking in with myself, it's saying like if something feels so, so hard that I'm trudging through mud, like come back to it Like today.
Speaker 3:Like you've said, today may not be the day, um, I think giving myself permission and really checking in with what I want has been a huge part of self-care and just saying yes to the things in my life that are important to me and not necessarily what other people want or you know what they're angling to get.
Speaker 3:Also, think that I this this idea of if I say no to something, am I going to disappoint someone. I remember that, you know, and often I'll work with a client and say I want you to say no to every single offer that comes this week and they're like, it's like just to practice and to see what that feels like and and really to hold that place of like if I say no to something else, I'm saying yes to myself, right, and and is it important to say yes to yourself and so knowing that and playing with that and just you know, really realizing what happens in that yes to myself, whether that's time, like I said, time alone or time out in nature, whatever it is, it's fulfilling, it's like that can um make everything go more smoothly and so much more enjoyable.
Speaker 2:Right, I would. I would agree, saying learning how to say no after working in corporate America 60 plus hours a week. Like you, christina, like I didn't know that I was even allowed to say no to work events. I like, two days prior to being diagnosed, I was at a charity event Like I didn't even realize, like that that was allowed. So, giving myself permission to go no and really take back my time, take back my energy and resources to where it's necessary, like yesterday, I just was exhausted in the afternoon and I was like you know what we're done, cause you, just staring at the computer is not helpful. We're just gonna, we're gonna shut it and we're gonna walk away. And it is what it is today. And that, in and of itself, is still something that like my gut's, like are you sure this is okay and I have to go? Yes, it's okay, like, cause tomorrow's a new day.
Speaker 3:It's almost like we have the opportunity to make permission slips for ourselves, like I give myself permission and and, um, I hold myself valuable. Like I think sometimes it's beliefs that get in the way of being able to say yes to ourselves, like what does your inner critic say? Or what belief do you have that like for me, a big one was I have to be accomplishing to be worthy. Like like you're saying like that there's a to-do list and then if that to-do list isn't done, it's you know there's a to-do list and then if that to-do list isn't done, it's you know, like I'm not worthy. So that that was like how do I get off this treadmill of like I'm just saying yes to everything and I'm burning out, um, so it's been a, it's been a big, big relearning and looking at things and saying is this a hell yes, or is it not? Like where do I get to distinguish the yes and no? No, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love how you said that with earning your worth is definitely like in my life. It was like you do all the hard things and until the hard things are done and you sacrifice and you do all these other things, when those things are done, then you can go have fun. And and it also goes along with this other belief of hard work equals success, which is why I used to have like the 60 plus hour weeks is because I was like, oh, I have to work really hard, which meant that it was a lot of hours and I would do all the hard stuff first and I would even make easy stuff hard, because it didn't feel like an accomplishment unless it was really something challenging. Unless it was really something challenging. And I loved, paige, what you said about listening to yourself, because for a lot of people that are around me, going out on a Friday or Saturday night is like how they have a good time, they love to go out.
Speaker 1:And the first Friday night I hung out with my husband before obviously we were married, he was.
Speaker 1:He was like, oh, we're going to go out to dinner with, with this person and that person and this person, and I was like I was a single mom.
Speaker 1:I was used to being home alone on a Friday night or with my child, so like going out, and it took me several years before I was like it's okay that at the end of the week I don't want to be with people that I, I mean, and I still.
Speaker 1:It still comes up for me because I'm surrounded by a bunch of extroverts where they like to do lots of things together and and go and do the things and I'm just like I'll be in my room crocheting and that's what really fills me up. But it was like really having to start listening to my body and going. No, my body really doesn't want that, and if I go out on a Friday night, I'm going to be too exhausted Saturday to do anything that I really want to do for myself. That I want to say yes to, like going for a hike on Saturday, and to me that is so much more meaningful than you know going out and having dinner in a place where you have to wait an hour to get in because there's a wait. I mean I don't find fun in any of that, but some people do.
Speaker 3:I think that's why I love this conversation, because we have, you know, different things that fill us up and and and I think even for the women who are listening like, do I start to identify what does fill my cup? Like, what is it that feels like self-care? What are my yeses? Like you have all those answers, it's just starting to ask and notice, like, am I happy when I do this? Do I want more time alone? Do I want more creative time? And with all those answers, then you can start to build the life that does work for you, rather than obligation or what society says is the right thing to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's layers of it, because I mean I never before would have gone on vacation by myself, but I now go away because there's so many people around me. I go away on a weekend by myself and like they're all like you went to the beaches alone. Yeah, I did. It was awesome.
Speaker 2:Like it was awesome based off of old programming, because it's been ingrained in us for so long. And yet if we really, like Paige said, check in with ourselves to realize what it is that we want to say yes to, and then know that it's whatever we say yes to is worth it, and putting in boundaries and saying no to things and that's acceptable and okay, it really does start to change how you feel about yourself and holding yourself worthy and valuable of making choices and having those boundaries.
Speaker 3:And I'm just laughing, christina, because my husband, who I really, really love dearly, is going away this weekend. And I'm like, yes, yes, and I've had people say to me like, what are you going to do? And I'm like I'm going to stay home and enjoy every moment here with my animals and be in this space in a way that fills me up. And you know, it's like, yes, I could, now I could make all these social plans. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm keeping it really simple, like I feel like this weekend is replenishing for my soul and so I'm looking to it really.
Speaker 1:I I feel, especially after the pandemic. When my husband went back to like staffing men's weekends, I was like cause we both work and and live in the same place all day long.
Speaker 1:So it's like it became a lot. So I was so happy when he could go back to doing weekends. And what's silly is that? Like when I check in with myself, sometimes on a weekend alone, cleaning the house is what I want to do. It sounds so ridiculous to the younger me because I'm like why would you want to do? It sounds so ridiculous to the younger me Cause I'm like why would you want to do that on your weekend off? But there's something about cleaning the whole house and having the whole thing clean and I'm by myself and I could take a shower and I feel good because everything feels good around me. So, even like, cleaning the house becomes self-care to me. Um, in those kinds of spaces and it may seem silly to other people who'd be like you could do anything I mean there's also, you know, when Taylor Swift came out with her new album, I became so Swifty.
Speaker 1:In the last year my husband happened to be away and I like got my snacks and my notebook and I was like, yes, we're going to watch this, cause it's something my husband would not want to watch all day long. But to me it was like, yes, we're going to watch this because it's something my husband would not want to watch all day long, but to me it was like this is awesome. This is exactly what I wanted to do is sit here and just watch these videos and seem so silly, but really I mean whatever makes us feel good. And then what happens is like. For me it's been like a snowball effect, is like when I take care of myself and I get that little, you know, ounce of joy out of it. Well, the next time I'm like yeah, we want to do that, we want to like what do I want to do now for myself? And that's how it's become bigger and bigger.
Speaker 1:So when we say, like giving ourselves permission I didn't start with giving myself permission to go away alone for an entire weekend Like I started by saying I'm going to take 15 minutes here and squeeze that in. So I guess, um, as we're rounding up our tools, one of the tools I would say is you know if you need to start small? Um, another tool that I heard page say is like just say no to everything, like cancel it down and see what happens. You know, like what's, what's the worst that can happen. Something might need to be rescheduled, but could be that you know, all that stuff that we think is so important actually isn't that important. What other tools are we going to mention or have we mentioned?
Speaker 2:I think something that's really important is just are you breathing? You know, when we get stressed and we have anxiety, we stop breathing, and it's one of the most vital functions in our body. But when we don't breathe, we aren't making clear cognitive decisions that you know could help us. So if we just take a deep breath and then go, is this something I want to do, or do I even have the bandwidth to do this for myself?
Speaker 3:We really can get clear on on even the answer that we're looking for I love that, casey, I, I know, I know for me, I, I'm blessed. There's actually a lot of things I want to say yes to in my life and and learning how to say no even to things I want to do, which is like taking it a step further, because if I say yes to leading all these women weekends and adding more retreats and taking on more clients and and you know it what's, what's the price that I pay for that? Because there's not time for me to slow down for myself, time for me to connect with my husband, time for me to be in my body and move, and it's like so I always look at that too, like what's? What's the bigger yes, what is the thing that? Um, I could continue to say yes to everything, even if I really want to do them, and sometimes the biggest challenge is saying crap, I'm going to say no to this because it's just too fricking much.
Speaker 3:And that has been a game changer for me, because I used to say yes and travel all the time and the pandemic hit and all of a sudden afterwards it was like I don't want to be in the air that much as much as I love doing women's weekends and being on the road, it was like this is just too much and so, um, having that clarity of you know I want to do all these things and if I was to rate them, that's a good tool right, like this is the one that's the biggest, this is the thing that you know you're dancing around a Swifty, you're like this is the thing that lights me up the most. So, looking for that within yourself, like having that awareness of what is like the most exciting things, or you know, and and allowing it to be okay that, even if you know it would be great to go to that party and I know that that's too much social this weekend, so that's the thing I'm going to not do, I think also, just tying to.
Speaker 2:That is like giving yourself permission to go to where. If you say yes to something and you go to it, give yourself permission to go. Yeah, I'm going to go home after that, even after five minutes or whatever amount of time you decide, because you don't have to stay. Like we always feel like while I'm here I'm obligated to stay. It's like there's no obligations. Say like really tired, I just wanted to say hi and leave.
Speaker 2:Like but we often feel like this is like where I have to be now because I committed. The commitment is always to you first and prioritizing you.
Speaker 3:And that's yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and Paige. Paige knows me um from some women's weekends and um, I give myself permission not to stay and hug everybody at the end because I am like I swear all day Sunday. I'm like give me a hug now, cause once the final meeting's over, I'm like you're in my dust before, like Irish goodbye is me, that is me everywhere I go Like once I'm done, I'm done. And before it would have taken a lot more emotional energy and mental energy for me to go.
Speaker 1:Okay, christina, just stay here, we're going to hug everybody we're going to and it would feel like it wasn't even sincere Goodbye is thanks. It was just like okay, who else do I have to hug so I can get out of here, right? And now it's just like let me tell you I'm not going to stay, so give me a hug now. And I'm leaving. Like when I want to leave, I am leaving and and I just let that be okay. And it's really odd when I go somewhere, like to a party, and there's like friends or something they're like shouldn't we say goodbye? And I'm like I said hello, saw them, I connected, they'll text me if they need something. I don't know, but like it's like one of those small, small acts of self-care. But for me it feels really good because when I've hit my extrovert limit, I'm done Like that's, that's all that's happening. And I allow that to be okay now and hope that other people are going to understand and if they don't, hey, come clear with me, let's talk about it in the future. But it's not about anybody else but me and my energy and me saying yes to myself Awesome. Well, I know that we could continue to have this conversation. But me and my energy and me saying yes to myself Awesome. Well, I know that we could continue to have this conversation, but, um, I want to just uh start closing up. So if we could give one piece of wisdom, um, and then feel free to uh tell people how they can reach out to you.
Speaker 1:Uh, my piece of wisdom I wrote this down earlier is I always tell my clients to make a choice and then decide it's right. So, check in with your body, make a choice and then, rather than like being like, oh, should I, shouldn't I, should I, should I, should I not, you know, just decide it's right. Whatever choice you made, decide it's right. Of course, just like Casey said, you can show up to the party and decide all of a sudden like, oh, this isn't right. Then make the decision to leave and decide that's right. Like you can just make a decision, decide it's right until you want to make a different decision. And, um, that would be my little bit of wisdom for today. How about you, casey?
Speaker 2:There's a lot but um, I think in in tying to self-care. It's really about we can have the perfect diet, we can have the right exercise routine, but if we are not taking care of what's inside of our heads and our hearts, we are still unhealthy in some way. And that means addressing and taking care of our emotional, mental health. And you know it, it's one of those things where I was just like, well, I'm physically doing the thing that I should be doing, everything else is fine and really nothing else is fine. And regulating your nervous system and creating a better life for yourself is the best thing that you can do for your your physical, mental and emotional health.
Speaker 1:Thanks, Casey. How can people connect with you?
Speaker 2:You can find me on Instagram I'm at the happier hustle and Facebook and all the things.
Speaker 1:I like the happier hustle that's. That's a cool Instagram, because the hustle by itself always makes me like cringe a little bit, ever since I've like pulled back from those 60 hour weeks but like hustling in a happy way. Well, now that's a different thing, isn't it Awesome? Thanks, Casey Paige.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I just I know we could go on for hours. I feel like there's so much here around what is yes and how do we do self-care, and I think, for me, the piece of that I have to offer is really to get in touch with the wise part of yourself who knows, and to start to foster that relationship, because you really do have all the answers, and so some of you might be further along on that journey or that might be a new concept, but to like really trust in, if you check in with your body and with your heart and with your mind, like the answers are there. So like continue to delve into knowing yourself and honoring yourself and what's true for you. Um, yeah, so it's. I don't know if that has been a huge thing. Instead of me looking to the outside for all of that information and over the decades, it's like wow, the more I know, the more I know, the more I can create what I want, which is fantastic.
Speaker 1:I love that advice because it always reminds me of that question that we give to like circles for women within circles. In case you're looking for a woman's circle, womenwithinorg.
Speaker 1:I think we mentioned it in every episode because it's been so powerful for me to sit in circles with other women, but there's always this question when you say like oh, what do you think about that? And they say I don't know. And then you go but if you did know, what would it be? And for some reason we have answers to that question, even though it's the same question, paige, how can people connect with you?
Speaker 3:People can reach us at. I will say my business partner and I are offering retreats for women to say hell yes to themselves. I mean, that is really so at the core of what I believe. And so you can say hell yes in that small way, like morning coffee on my porch swing is a small hell yes, and there's everything in between. And so we've created retreats for women to say hell yes in a really big way, to give themselves like time away to replenish and get really connected to themselves and listen in and make some big transformational changes. So, um, you can reach us at thrive with Margaret and page, and there's information there about retreats coming up. We have one in Mexico in April of next year and then we'll have one in the mountains of Colorado in September. So if you're interested in um giving yourself that kind of gift and saying a big hell yes, then definitely reach out and I'm happy to chat with you and make sure it's a good fit.
Speaker 1:Beautiful Thank you. Thank you both for being here today. I appreciate it so much. Such a lovely conversation. We might have to have another one in the future. And thank you, audience, for tuning in. We'll talk to you again next week.
